Objectivity
by EpsilonPax
Summary: Pre- ROTF; Just a fluff one-shot about the budding romance between Epps and our OC Elena with appearances from a few bots;temporarily marked as complete, but there will be more to come later! Rated for mild language and drunken antics


**A/N: Pre: ROTF; Just a little fluff one-shot about the budding attraction between Epps and our OC Elena. For now we're marking it as complete, though there will be more-and more plot centered!-pieces about their relationship to follow. Enjoy!**

**As always, please R & R!**

**~~~Epsilon Pax & Bumbee**

**Disclaimer: We acknowledge with heavy hearts that we do not have any rights to anything Transformers, BUT we do have rights to our OC Elena (take that Hasbro! lol)**

#

Leaning back into his chair, away from his worktable, Epps opened another can of beer with a loud pop that seemed to echo throughout the hanger. At the sound, his two companions glanced over at him questioningly.

"Another one?" Ratchet asked skeptically, "Must I remind you, that upon imbibing such a concoction, your reasoning abilities become significantly impaired, not to mention the damage inflicted upon your internal organs with prolonged usage of such beverage is ultimately—"

"Ratchet, as much as I appreciate your concern, you gotta chill out," Epps grinned as he took a long draught, "It's only a beer."

"By my count, it is the third you have consumed within the past hour."

"Hey now, I'm just tinkering with scraps today, I'm not touching anything that could go boom. Besides I know how to hold my liquor as well as you can hold your diesel."

"That is inaccurate," Ironhide spoke up, as he placed the remains of a tank cannon in the storage area in which he was currently amassing odds and ends, "Unlike your vehicular forms of transportation, we do not need to consume what you refer to as 'diesel' in order to function."

Epps was spared the effort of trying to explain that he had been making a joke, when Lennox sauntered in, "That," He pointed at Epps's beer as he unceremoniously plopped down into an empty chair across from his friend, "looks like contraband. You got one for me?"

"You know it." Reaching into the small cooler he had stashed next to his workbench, Epps tossed Lennox a can.

Taking an appreciative gulp, Lennox sighed in contentment, "Oh, good work man. I can't tell you how good this tastes right now."

"What can I say? I got skills that kills!" Epps paused before taking another sip from his own beer; "Actually," he glanced around at everyone present, "We all got skills that kills! Particularly, Decepticons!"

Lennox just shook his head as Epps laughed at his own joke, "Dude, seriously? That was terrible! How many of these things have you had today?"

"I dunno ask Ratchet, he's keeping a running tally for me so I don't have to." Not wanting to actually give Ratchet the chance to answer Epps continued, " So how was the debriefings this morning? Tell me you heard something interesting today, I can't take much more of this hanging around base."

"Nothing man."

"You gotta be kidding me?"

Lennox glanced over to Ratchet and Ironhide, who were listening intently now, "As far as we can tell, the Decepticons haven't made so much as a peep within the past month and a half."

"Hmm, this absence of activity is unsettling." Ironhide mused as he regarded Ratchet.

"I agree this silence is most unusual."

Taking another long draught, Epps looked back to Lennox, "Do you think it's at all possible that the remaining Decepticons could have left the planet? I mean what's to keep them interested in Earth now that both the Allspark and Megatron have been destroyed?"

"We can only hope that they've all jumped ship, but I don't think we'd be that lucky."

"Ok, so say some of those mofo's are still hanging around, what's keeping them here?"

When Ratchet or Ironhide couldn't answer, Lennox shrugged, "I don't know, but that's something that Elena and Optimus have been focusing on for the past month straight. I just wish I knew how we could help more."

"Your readiness to act with us upon a moment's notice is all that we could ask for." Ironhide supplied.

Epps grinned, "Hey I can do that."

"Not in your present condition you couldn't" Ratchet added.

"Hey now, I told you, I can hold my liquor just fine."

The next few hours were spent in comparative ease, as Lennox and Epps alternated between jokes that fell flat, quaffing down cool beers, and actually working on developing designs for new sabot launchers. Though, as Ratchet was quick to point out to Ironhide, the two humans seemed to become more and more adept at pursuing the former rather than the latter. Grunting in agreement, Ironhide glanced over at the small cooler that was rapidly being emptied of contents. The Autobot waited until Epps had looked away, before leaning over and scooping the cooler off the ground, inspecting the container carefully in an effort to discern its value.

"H-hey! Those aren't for Autobots!" Epps managed to get to his feet and futilely jumped for the cooler, despite the fact that Ironhide dangled it at least fifteen feet above Epps's head. Lennox was practically doubled over as he laughed at his friend's drunken antics, and Epps was quick to sink onto the cool concrete and join him in his mirth.

"Oh man…" Epps wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, "I haven't laughed this hard in ages!"

About to take another swing from his eighth or ninth beer, Lennox couldn't quite remember at this point, he paused as the sound of an approaching engine filled the hanger.

Epps straightened from his perch on the floor, a lopsided grin on his features, "Hey it's Big Man."

"You are half correct," Ratchet spoke up as he stepped over a prone Epps. This movement induced another laughing fit from Lennox, but it fizzled out relatively quickly as he realized Epps's attention was completely focused on something else entirely. Curious, Lennox twisted in his chair to look back at the Autobot Leader, who had stopped just inside the hanger, and opened the door on his driver's side.

Epps couldn't help but notice how the last rays of sunlight turned Elena's auburn tresses a gem-like hue as she stepped daintily out of the big diesel's cab, her stylish heels clicking on the metal step. From their corner in the very back of the hanger, they couldn't quite hear the conversation between the Autobot leader and their Director of Communications, so Epps could only watch and wonder what Optimus had said to make Elena laugh in such a way that made her grey eyes sparkle with her mirth.

"Jealous?" Lennox smirked as he finished off the last of his beer. When Epps hadn't budged, he couldn't resist tossing his empty can at his friend, and was rewarded when it bounced neatly off Epps's forehead.

"What the hell man?"

"I said are you jealous?"

"What?"

In reply, Lennox nodded over to where Optimus and Elena were still talking. But Epps lapsed into silence again, fascinated at how easily she stood next to the Autobot, one hand casually placed on a shapely hip, the other twirling a pencil in her fingertips.

Ratchet couldn't resist initiating a brief scan on his deeply engrossed human counterpart, "Hmm, it would appear that the Sergeant's pheromone levels have significantly increased in—"

"SHUT UP MAN!" Epps made a movement to throw his own beer can at the medical officer, but realizing he hadn't finished it yet, decided against it.

With Epps focusing elsewhere, Lennox waved his arms to get Ironhide's attention, once he had, he then pointed from the cooler to Epps. Catching on, Ironhide didn't hesitate to upturn said cooler over Epps's head, sending a comparative mountain of ice and water, along with the last three beers, crashing on top of the Sergeant.

" WHAT THE F—!" Epps surged to his feet, sputtering as he tried to brush as much of the ice and water off of himself as he could. He glared up at the Autobot, "Ironhide! What the hell man! What was that for?"

"Ratchet informed me that your internal systems were overheating." He held out the now empty cooler, "So I helped."

The commotion had resounded throughout the hanger, and accordingly caught the attention of both Elena and Optimus. As both approached, Lennox had to turn his back to them, as he tried and failed to suppress his laughter at the looks Epps shot him as his friend stood, arms slightly outstretched, completely soaked through and through.

Skirting the edges of the puddle, Elena retrieved one of the wayward cans that rolled away from Epps and lifted a brow, "Should I really even ask what you two were up to?"

Lennox, who had finally managed to maintain his composure, nearly lost it again, when Epps said in a completely serious tone, "It's nice to see you again Elena. Would you like a beer?"

She wrinkled her nose as she read the label, "Coors? How can you guys drink this stuff? If you're going to smuggle beer in, at least go for something decent."

"Yeah? Like what?" Epps tried and failed to look casual as he wrung out a corner of his shirt.

She shrugged, stepping back to lean against Optimus's bumper, "Anything that doesn't taste like piss-water. "

"It's not that bad."

"It's not that good either."

"You're just picky." Epps muttered as he slouched over to his chair, wincing as he sat down, and the water from his clothes was absorbed into the material of the worn cushions.

"So what brings you here this evening?" Lennox held out a hand for the beer she had pilfered, and obligingly, she tossed it back to him.

"Well, Optimus and I were going to head over here anyway, since we were finishing a meeting with General Morshower, but when Ratchet signaled Optimus that you two were getting into trouble, he decided we'd better leave early."

Lennox scoffed as he opened the beer he had reclaimed from Elena, "Trouble? Pft, Elena I'm offended—"

"—No your not—"

"—I'm a family man, so its in my best interest to stay out of any, well, you know, detrimental trouble." Lennox wobbled to his feet, pointing an accusing finger at Epps, "Besides, he started it."

Ironhide nodded solemnly, "It is true."

Epps responded by throwing his now empty beer can at Ironhide—and they all watched as it sailed harmlessly past the Autobot and clattered to the floor some distance away. Fighting to keep a mock stern expression, Elena shook a finger at Epps, "Hey now mister, you're in enough trouble as it is. I ought to put you in time out."

"That might not be so bad—"

"—With Skids and Mudflap"

"Now that just ain't right"

"Neither is getting drunk off room temperature piss water."

Lennox gave up on trying to stand up on his own, and instead moved to lean against the worktable, "I object! We're not drunk."

"Really?"

"Y-yeah…"Lennox hesitated and mouthed at Epps, "Are we?"

"Alright, Lennox I want you to walk in a straight line over to Ironhide."

"I-I think I'm good thanks…"

Elena's smile bloomed, "Chicken."

"Nope, the way I see it, only an idiot would try to walk when the floor is moving."

Epps puffed out his chest, "Pft, I can hold my liquor just fine."

"Oh really?'

"Yeah really!"

"Alright, then tell me how many tires does Optimus have in his terrestrial form?"

Epps blinked at her.

"Well?'

"Um…"Subtly, Epps tried to look past Elena at Optimus.

"Hey, no counting!"

"I admit, I do not understand the purpose of the question." Optimus remarked as Epps tried to puzzle out an answer.

"The point is to try and make him think, the more obscure the question, the harder he has to work at it. Now if he were sober, he shouldn't have any problem answering…" She trailed off as Epps snapped his fingers.

"I got it! He has eight tires!"

Elena smiled sweetly, as she lightly tapped Optimus on his front grill.

"I am sorry Sergeant," Prime replied somberly, "The answer is eighteen."

"Oh come on! It's a trick question! That isn't fair!"

Wanting to give Epps some semblance of his dignity back, Lennox cleared his throat, "C'mon Elena, give him an easier question."

She lifted an eyebrow, "So he can bruise his ego again? No, I think you've both inflicted enough damage for one day." Standing, she tapped her knuckles on Optimus's fender as she walked around the Autobot, "I think we should leave now, so that we don't have to witness the indignity of them stumbling all the way back to their quarters."

"I concur."

"H-hey!" Epps managed to stand up without too much trouble, "I'll walk you back. That way Big Man doesn't have to drive all that way back here."

"I do not mind."

Elena bit back a laugh, and held out a hand to keep Optimus from closing the door, "That's alright Sergeant. I think you've had enough excitement for one day."

Smiling to herself, Elena ducked into the cab just as Optimus gently closed the door, reversing out of the hanger and pulled onto the main road. Once she settled into the drivers side seat, Elena allowed herself to close her eyes; after all, it was a ten-minute drive over to the small residence NEST had given her, since they couldn't station her at the barracks with the rest of the soldiers.

For a time there was only the sound of gravel crunching under the Autobot's tires as they drove down the deserted roadway. Odd how she found herself completely relaxed in Optimus's cab, more importantly, it truly seemed as though Prime was comfortable transporting her around, and she wondered vaguely how many individuals could boast of such a thing. Wiggling slightly to find a more comfortable spot, it still amazed her that a little over a month ago she had never heard of an Autobot, let alone a Decepticon, and yet now, Prime had become one of her closest friends on base. Not that she wasn't getting along well with Lennox and Epps, but it just seemed as though she could let down her guard a little bit more with the Autobot leader.

'Tired Director?" Optimus asked as he flicked on his headlights.

Elena smirked and opened her eyes just enough to allow her to flick Optimus's steering wheel in annoyance of him calling her 'Director'; she knew he did it just to annoy her, and for Optimus, such a deliberate slip was as snarky as he got, "I'm not as tired as Lennox and Epps are going to be tomorrow morning."

"Their actions this evening is an example of one of the many minute facets of human behavior that I do not understand, for ultimately it lacks productivity, and, is in fact, detrimental to their health."

"You sound like Ratchet."

"Our medical officer is quite proficient in keeping us updated with whatever headway he makes in unraveling human physiology."

"How wonderful." She'd have to remember that and be sure to mention this little trivia to Lennox and Epps tomorrow—as soon as they recovered from their hangovers of course.

The silence hadn't lapsed long between them before Optimus spoke up once more, "May I make a personal observation?"

"Of course, you don't have to ask."

"It would appear that Sergeant Epps has become quite interested in your whereabouts and activities over the past few weeks."

"Mmm." Elena fumbled in the dark for a way to adjust the seat, but Optimus did it for her, "Thanks…so what's your point?"

"You must be aware of the effect you have upon him."

Elena blinked, taken aback at the sudden shift the conversation had taken, "I-I've noticed."

"Do you object to his attention?"

Wondering what the Autobot's motives were in bringing the subject up, she hesitated at she pondered the possibility of Epps actually being interested in her in the manner Optimus was so clearly suggesting, "I…I don't object, no. Why do you ask?"

There was a long pause, "Having observed other personal on base-" Elena automatically thought of Lennox—"It would appear that such relationships can be very taxing, even at times detracting from an individual's ability to concentrate."

Elena nodded to herself knowingly; Optimus had to be referring to the incident that occurred two weeks ago, in which Lennox had left base with only a word of warning to Prime, so that he could rush home when his wife Sarah had been involved in a car accident. Forced to report back to base the next evening by Galloway, even knowing that she had sustained only minor injuries, Lennox had been disinterested and moody at best; taking his frustration out even on the Autobots until Elena had been able to summon up an impromptu leave of absence that even Galloway had been unable to refute.

"I just wanted to remind you of the importance of remaining objective."

She smiled, recognizing the concern for her wellbeing in his remark, rather than misinterpreting it as a rebuke, "Thank you Optimus, I will."

#

The next morning a humid drizzle cloaked Diego Garcia in soft grey clouds that even the tropical sun could not vanquish. Preparing for another day of meetings and proposed amendments to the classified Autobot Cooperation Act, Elena took a last sip from the chipped coffee mug she had salvaged from one of the kitchenette's cabinets. Placing it in the sink, she stopped as the sound of muffled hip-hop music drifted through her window. Looking up, she caught sight of the vehicle parked patiently outside, clearly waiting for her.

With a half chuckle, half sigh, she was quick to grab her briefcase and keys and lock her front door before walking over to the silver Stingray Corvette, "You know, I am capable of driving myself. I have a car."

"Yes, we are aware you have an inferior machine."

Elena just crossed her arms.

Sideswipe opened his driver side door.

"Did Optimus order you to do this?"

"Of course not, I volunteered."

Elena huffed. Between Optimus and Sideswipe, the former being more punctual than the latter, she hadn't driven her car since she had arrived at NEST, as either one or the other would arrive to pick her up in the morning, "Alright, this is the last time I'm allowing you to give me ride back to base. "

"I'm glad you think so."

Giving in, Elena slid easily into Sideswipe's racing styled seat, and tossed her briefcase onto the passenger side.

"Hey, hey now, don't scratch the leather!" Just like she did the first time, Elena ignored the halfhearted protest. Whenever Sideswipe would arrive to drive her back to base, he was always sure to reminder her of his precious interior. In response, Elena gave in to her ritual comeback: changing Sideswipe's radio from a hip-hop station to country.

"Uh, such discordant sounds!" Pulling onto the main road, Sideswipe changed it back.

"Because hip-hop isn't?" Elena flipped the dial to a tired country song again.

"Stoppit! That noise clashes with my style!" Sideswipe flicked it back.

"Or what? You'll make me walk?"

Sideswipe replied by locking his doors with a melodic chirp, "You know, you're very disagreeable in the mornings."

Elena grinned, "You know…Optimus' seats are more comfortable than yours."

"Impossible! I have an all leather interior and seat heaters. Not to mention my suspension is more acclimated for passengers. That and my terrestrial design is damn fine."

Out of spite, she clicked the radio dial over to the country station again, but after a few bars she changed it to her favorite jazz channel. This time Sideswipe chuckled, their traditional morning banter having run its course.

"Ratchet tells me—"

"Since when do you casually talk to Ratchet?"

"That's not relevant…"

"Uh huh." Using her sleeve, Elena absentmindedly polished away a smudge on the chrome Autobot decal that was embossed on Sideswipe's steering wheel.

"Like I said, Ratchet tells me that he scanned some very interesting Intel yesterday afternoon."

"From where?"

"Sergeant Epps."

She stopped her polishing, flicking his steering wheel instead, "All of you are big mouths!"

"What do you mean all?'

"You! Ratchet! Optimus! Oh you just wait until I get back to base! I'm going to-to-to—"

"I believe the phrase you are searching for is 'bitch slap someone'?"

"What? Where did you hear that from?"

"The World Wide Web."

Elena crossed her arms and tapped her heel in annoyance. She could understand Ratchet's professional curiosity in such occurrences; he was, after all, their medical officer. She could even understand Optimus's interest, as he needed to be aware of what was occurring in the lives of his human counterparts, but Sideswipe she knew at times was no better than a common teenage gossip.

"Hmm, you're awfully defensive about this subject matter."

"You're nosey."

"Am not."

"Don't you have something more important to talk about amongst yourselves? Like, oh I don't know, Decepticon incursions?"

"Of course, but not, as your saying goes, 'twenty-four-seven."

Taking a deep breath in to cool her temper, Elena reminded herself, again, that Sideswipe was still new to Earth, and therefore fascinated by everything the humans did.

"Why do I put up with you bots?" She huffed in amused and rather half-hearted frustration.

The reply that Sideswipe gave her sounded perhaps a little to smug for any Autobot, "Because your existence, without us, wouldn't be as interesting."

A smile blossomed across her features; the snarky, punk Autobot had a point.


End file.
